In the spirit of the phoniness of Valentine’s Day, which propels many couples into evenings of loving looks, dinner and, hopefully, a handjob, here are a few of my favorite conflicted love songs (listed in no particular order), plus one that I can’t stand. Feel free to comment on your own favorite or hated tracks that mix passion and anger into some mild sexual stew.
1) “I Hate You, I Love You” by the Dead Milkmen: “Look back to the time we met / Were things better, I forget” … ah, the rare, somewhat serious track by these Philadelphia goofballs. It’s fairly straightforward, with the rare, scrappy vocal performance by Joe Jack Talcum (I believe) and is a real standout on their spottiest album. Where a lot of their songs rely on words upon words to build and sustain a funny premise (ex. “V.F.W.”, “Sha-Na-Na”), it’s the simplicity in these lyrics that keep it both charming and humorous. It’s the ultimate pop-punk expression of someone who doesn’t know if their heart is coming or going.
2) “I’m Still In Love With You” by Al Green: Al Green was never big on tons of lyrics, but the sweet waves in his voice are usually all that is needed to punch you in the heart and jiggle on your privates. In this subtle number, Green gives you the sense that he really loves this lady, but still has to put it out there for some reason (like buying flowers for someone in the middle of the week, it’s rarely for something positive that happened).
3) “Wave a White Flag” by Elvis Costello: It’s a heart-felt musical projection of the inside of that house at the end of the street where the cops often haul away a drunken guy in a Van Halen T-shirt and his old lady continually refuses to press charges. Is it true love blurred by port wine? Or utter dependance kept in line with mutual destruction? Either way, it would be pretty sad if it weren’t for Costello’s perfect acoustic tongue-in-cheek presentation.
4) “He’s a Rebel” by The Crystals: If you can’t change ‘em, join ‘em. It’s a joyous, harmonious display of the kind of relationship where everyone’s advice to run away only pushes you closer. It was also The Crystals only No. 1 hit (fairing far better than their other troubled epic, “He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)”, co-written by Carole King, no less!) And who would know troubled “love” set to music better than producer Phil Spector?
5) “I Luv You” by Dizzee Rascal: Dizzee and a female accomplice turn the abuse of the phrase “I love you” (misspelling in the track name aside) upside down, with cockney tell-offs peppered throughout. The threat of a baby from a girl that may be the lead male character’s “wifey” as well as the admission that he was “hacked by the whores” all touch on woes in the real relationships that pass through family court all day long.
6) “I Need You” by NoMeansNo: This genius Canadian three-piece always spins the yin with the yang in their songs on love — as well as the occasional knife fight. On “I Need You”, there is the feeling that you come back to someone because, well, you don’t want to die alone and you’ve already shown this person your ugly side. Included are the admission that: “I can’t pretend any more / To you I can’t pretend”.
7) “Once In a While” by Harvey Milk: Out of the crushing, white-man’s blues build-up in the first half of the perfect “Special Wishes” album comes this gem, a broken hi-hat vision of The Band if all the members were going through divorces at the same time. Here, Creston Spiers is the broken man too tired to pick up the pieces of some love that has been gone a decade if it’s been a minute.
8) “Maybe Again When I Leave U” by His Name Is Alive: On-again, off-again love, taunting each other with desire and dispersions of the other “devils” out there on the meat market. His Name Is Alive puts it over some odd keyboard beats and deteriorating electronics, with female vocals that make you consider leaving whatever situation you’re currently in to join her seemingly troubled artistic world.
9) “I Don’t Want to Get Over You” by Magnetic Fields: Half of the songs from the three-disc “69 Love Songs” could probably be on this list, but rhyming Camus with vermouth makes this one win out. The song seems to say, “You know what, fuck it, I’m digging my heels in and I’m just going to mourn and prove this to you. Even after you clearly have moved on.” And, as with almost all of their songs, it’s clever rather than quirky — as in lines like: “I could leave this agony behind / Which is just what I’d do / If I wanted to” — which leads you to just put this 2-minute wonder on repeat.
And the stinker … “Barbed Wire Love” by Stiff Little Fingers: Any attempt at capturing the dueling feelings of love in a base punk song was clearly lost on Stiff Little Fingers in this song. Lyrically put together around a war theme, “Barbed Wire Love” is somehow stupid in content even for punk, with tired chord progressions to match. Across the British Isles, The Buzzcocks repeatedly used actual wit and fantastic hooks rather than kitsch to convey truly good songs about the endless facets of love. Worse than all of that, “Barbed Wire Love” is among a catalog of others in the 70s punker scene (”I Got Your Number” by Cocksparrer, “Love Song” by The Damned) that led to some type of spikey-hair band requirement for at least one trite “punk love” track each record (see “Punk Rock Love” by The Casualties).